the good little soldier… 12-9-14

We are all so very human and more or less aware of our inherited and self-generated interior cast of characters who show up for those better or worse curtain calls depending on what’s playing out in our lives…a personal population evolving from a very tender age. Recently, someone who knows me all too well named one player in my internal troupe: “the good little soldier”.

The craziest of the bunch tend to come out in the most challenging moments. Had one of those moments a couple weeks ago, watched him take over and do what the producer needs to do and then banish me to stand frozen on the sidelines, clutching my phone. Everyone else present carried on being sociable, sharing the richness and camaraderie so prevalent during workshop days. I’ve been a big time witness to his role in my daily life ever since.

This soldier is all about taking the fall so others may live. Whoah, did I just say that? I watch this dude come out in small ways and big, chronically in service, needed or not. And let it be said right here that I totally appreciate this steadfast, no-quitter is a huge player in my great ability to create and manifest. Our wounds are the source of our most special gifts. For that I am grateful.

One of the things I love about conscious dance practice is the light it potentially sheds on characters like this. It doesn’t come automatically. There can be a daunting chasm between being in rhythmic response to music and opening up to juicy insight. When we work with repetition – movements that recur over and over, unveiling shapes the body spontaneously makes, dance floor moves can be very revealing, amazingly gap-bridging.

Last week, just minding my own business on the dance floor, I was totally stunned to find myself doing a repetition that has been an integral part of my dance for a dozen years. If you’ve moved with me, no doubt you’ve seen it. Never really knew what it was about…just this pacing motion with an abrupt 180 turn after a few steps, always in staccato. But there it was, no denying it: “the good little soldier” manifest in my dance, finding expression all these years, waiting for me to finally discover him.

There it was: suffering into art into awareness. So then what?

“I know that if a wave of energy is allowed to complete itself it yields a whole new wave.” – Gabrielle Roth

Not too sure about this, but it feels like the only bridge from awareness to action is to just keep moving and let whatever it is complete itself. Cultivate being a conscious witness. Be in choice when we are able…change it up, do something entirely different, let it go, be patient, practice loving compassion. On the dance floor and off. I’ll get back to you on how the good little soldier is faring.

Thursday: two nights to practice before we break for two weeks. Loved those two full and complete waves, staying with. For the month of January only, if you have never shown up on a Thursday (what?), come dance one time for free.

Sunday: the tradition continues…honor the blessed dark, wear all black this Sunday. Welcome Alessandro Moruzzi from San Francisco up front for the first time. The following Sunday, welcome the Solstice, wear all white. I’ll be playing the music and, thank you, Doug Crawford will be playing the drums.

Let’s keep it moving…love, bella