living the question…4-20-20

Exactly a year ago I was moving through a gloomy health chapter.  Post-surgery, post-radiation, lengthy bronchial infection,15 day unexplained fever.  Each exacted their toll pressing me to build back my decimated immune system.  If some prescient angel whispered in my ear, foretold the scenario we are moving through exactly one year later…well I would never have believed.  Would you?

Even that health crisis didn’t slow me down much.  But this?  Every piece of me is decelerating.  Speedy pieces I didn’t even know about are easing on down.  Recent talk about “re-opening” the country makes these tender slow pieces balk.  Cry out “not ready yet.”  Not eager to jump up and move at the speed of light again.  Just like you, I’ve had to cancel thing after thing.  Stuff I thought I was looking forward to.  And I’m feeling this paradoxical, even a bit guilty, sense of relief with each scrapped plan.

I don’t want people to die.  I don’t want anyone to suffer—physically, mentally, financially.  Yet I find myself rooting for emerging wildlife.  Celebrating clean air.  Honoring this drop in fossil fuel dependence.  And sensing our communal appreciation for this new-fangled stillness, this break, this pause.  And I really don’t know what to make of it. 

Will we look back at this episode two years hence, three years, five…with a sense of wonder?  Will things radically shift from here on in?  Will we return to the speed of light?  Finding comfort in Rilke’s counsel:


 “…at present you need to live the question. 
Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it,
find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” 


And so we languish in the question.  Personally grateful for time afforded by my privileged circumstance.  A gifted opportunity to be witness still and offer intriguing containers for healing and practice.  Amazed by the options and rapidity of this technological shift to on line, aware of its limitations, living with lots of questions.  Today, some random musings about the altered healing and practice containers that make up my world of work.

On line Physical Therapy:  Hands on, on line?  Really?  Yup.  Over the years, when geography created obstacle, I’ve been in service to friends, family, colleagues.  Certainly has limitations, not the best way to provide…yet very effective in a pinch.  And in a pinch is where we are right now.  
How does this work?  A session begins exactly as before.  By the time I complete a history and visual movement assessment, even when I have the treatment table option, I often guess what my hands confirm. I know…hands on care, expert release…the best part!  But if you have a roller, massage ball, double-wrapped tennis balls, I can absolutely guide you to treat yourself.  Then we re-assess the impact on your motion and symptoms.  This co-exploration creates your home self-care, which we Zoom record for easy follow through.  If we’re on the right track, 15 minutes daily on your mat will create steady improvement. You’ll know if you need another appointment or can continue on your own with Essential class support. It starts with a phone call to assess possibility.

On line Essentials Yoga: Tuesday 10:00; bookmark this page (link changes weekly for optimal Zoom security) and register anytime before class.  Slow moving, gentle introduction or refresh for anyone wanting to develop an effective self-care/self-reliance mat practice.  Anyone with a body that yearns for supple flexibility, quality muscle tone.  Anyone who wants to believe that 15 minutes most days can give their body exactly what it craves to support optimal well-being.  Deeper Being is the advanced version of this class.  Friday morning, by invitation only.

On line 5Rhythms: Wednesday 6:15pm & Sunday 9:45am.  The cyber-evolution of this has been slow and wondrous.  With Majica’s youthful aptitude we keep moving into new tech-territory.  Join us this week for a 15 minute Zoom opening circle.  Then click Soundcloud to dance a 45 minute wave.  Option to keep Zoom open, connect with those little dancing boxes or turn Zoom off and move in solitude.  Or a little of both.  Zoom closing circle balances the intimacy of breakout rooms with full group sharing.  We are all adapting together in this unique environment.  Stay tuned for the next evolution on the horizon.

The current format of each of these offerings is second best to the real deal.  They vary in their translatable nature.  5Rhythms? One third of this practice is about our interior dance.  For those willing to stay the course with this moving meditation a unique dose of strength will be gained.  These abundant internally focused moments are still held in the context of the full group’s energetic connection. Physically missing you!  Aching for the spontaneous way each class flows, created by the palpable chemistry between dancers, facilitator, music.  Sigh.  But I can still feel the medicine delivered in only the way a community can deliver it.  Showing up for ourselves and each other…we will never forget this practice chapter.

Physical therapy?  It is what it is.  Second best, but available.  The few I have worked with were so grateful for the help in this time with no other alternative.  Less complex problems are more successfully do-able. Multiple involved body regions, surgical complications, symptoms that radiate into the extremities—a bit more challenging.  Can’t wait to re-open my studio!

Essentials?  By far the most translatable.  It’s always been about you and your mat.  If you’re a visual learner, the close up demos are priceless.  If you’re an auditory learner, clear articulation of physical instruction is my forte.  If you’re a kinesthetic learner, everything you need is readily available.

All classes offered freely with option to donate. We move through this current situation each with our own challenges.  If you’ve been unaffected financially, thank you for your contribution.   I am just grateful to be of service, truly no one turned away if times are tough.  My deepest wish is for you to take advantage of these healing practices made so available during this interlude.

More of that same Rilke piece to close:


 “…Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.  Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers.  They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything…” 


Experiencing everything with you….love, bella





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